Woohoo! Countdown performance @ Woodlands with my bbygirls later! I can't believe we are actually meeting up late! Ke ke ke! Tomorrow is Kak Nor's engagement! I am really happy for her :) I ate at Seoul Garden with Shereen, Dellysda and Shazwani yesterday and it went out to be really hectic and fun! It was my first time if I am not wrong. Shocking much! The food there filled my tummy and I felt greedy, which isn't a good feeling. FOOD = HEAVEN. I was naive but nevermind, shall go there again sometime. Thanks lovelies! Kak Dinah is a nice sister! Ke ke ke. I accompanied her to Causeway to buy her school stuffs and school shoes! Haha! Very funny!She treated me to a Durian pancake and Durian puff! It was friggin' nice man. We decided to heard there everyday before prac. Haha! :) She also treated me to bubble tea! Thanks kakak! I love you. Not only that, there was this stranger who thought we were sisters! Gotten comments like that countless of times :) Kay, sudah. I am sorry to make you a laughing stalk tht time because I accidentally threw my comb and it landed on your face with a loud smack. Melekat summore! Haha! I love you.
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I am giving up already. I think it's a better option for me. There's no us. You give me hopes, and then crushed it in the end. It is really an ongoing thing. How am I able to heal? Even if I do miss you, it don't really mean anything. I am so disappointed. You and your doubts, your negativity. Just say it, I am never enough. I am so stupid to turn back. We always tried to patch things up, an epic fail for sure. You are always the problem but you didn't really come to find the right solution to solve it. I give up, wait. I mean I gave up. I learnt something, that is don't make hopeful promises. I figured you out already. Your problem is your loyalty to me. I envision that you'll do fine without me. If you had love me, you'd do something a long time ago. When you're with me, you said things which gave me hope. But when you're nt facing me, you just say whatever you want. Crushed.Best for your future, my friend.Goodbye.(L)
One random fact about me that I have just discovered. Let me share with you. After watching Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, I learnt a particular lesson. Everything dawned on me that I don't try to feed myself with something new. I started penning down my thoughts in my Notepad application in my thumbdrive whenever anything comes up on my mind. From there, I could be able to use it when comes to important situations. I have no idea when but I know it will happen these days.
You know that we've always been complaining about how boring our lives are but when it is actually isn't. We weren't creative enough to think up things that are beyond our imagination. Well, start penning down your thoughts people. Who knows what you could do with it.
I have no idea if I made a huge mistake but, I am maybe turning back to the OLD, FRESH STILL road. I am not reliving the awful past, only the beautiful memories and try to think of something new to make things really better. I don't history to repeat itself. I just need chances and open oppurtunities. Even if, some of my close friends won't approve it but I will make a better difference. DON'T GIVE UP.
(L)
How much I hate that my heart has full of unstoppable doubts and how much I think of what is going to happen in future. I think I really should just breathe. A deep breather that is. I need to finish my holiday assignments instead of going out and dance everytime. Not that I hate dance, I love to dance. Just that it kept me too occupied that I've forgotten my other priorities. With situations like this, I have no idea if I could dance for Countdown. I need to find time, seriously. I shall dance for Countdown no matter what 'cos.......I am sitting for N-Levels next year and the thought of it just freaks me out. Insya Allah, God will help me through all these obsticles. School is re-opening soon, damn it. I really hate that sentence. Lol! Maybe, I should drop by Shereen's house today and borrow that piece of Malay paper from. Lol! I pity mama. She always gives me money everytime I go out. She gives me even if she doesn't wants to and especially when, I didn't ask for it. I need to learn how to save my money. My future scares me a lot.I miss my babygirls a lot! :) Kak Deena, get well soon okay? I think I should delete my tagboard since everyone doesn't wants to tag! >:( The numbers on the hit counter are increasing day by day. C'mon people! Tag la! HAHAHA. I am my own issue myself too. Not replying tags and all. I shall. I shall. *rolls eyes* :D Haha! My sister is getting a scolding by my parents! LOL! Balik lmbat lagi! -..-Anyways, Merry Christmas to everyone and especially to you, Taylor Lautner (; Hahaha! Stop it sak Syiqin.(L)
I am a fvcking mat salleh stalker sia -..- Haha. No la. This guy above is Chris? I think it's Chris. I've forgotten his name like :O:O:O So sad/ I have no idea what to say other than that he said he liked my Pastry. Nvm. I am embarassed to talk about it. Rewind accident! I heard Paramore is coming to Singapore! :D:D:D Omgggggg! I shall scream my lungs out! My favourite band apart from The Faders! Haha! Wait, give me a minute. I shall scream now! Haha! :D I went out with Shereen today for a while. I really miss her. Psst, Kak Zimah. I bought two air batu from the nenek just now! Haha! :D I miss my adik somehow. I miss Fiq so much. I hope you are reading this. My legs are disturbingly skinny -..- I know, wth. But seriously, I need to add more fats to them. I will be eating something proper later. Junk food has been in my tummy for a while today. I really miss Secondary 1 days. Every one of it. Sigh, I wish I could turn back time. I chatted with Shahlis just now! Awesome giler nak mampzxs! Lol! He bought a new microphone -..- & he is really happy about it! Siao. Haha!Maybe Im meeting MFBA tmr. Insya Allah :)(L)
See the following picture above? -..- Kay. I have no life. It looks real though, right? You gotta agree. Anyway, yes. It was real! I went out with T. Lautner. Shut up Syiqin, I am very bad at lying. Haha! :D:D:D ANYWAYS! I had a good shower and oooooo, it was damn nice. I am currently hearing to Just Fine by Mary J. Blige! The song really has happy vibes into it and I guess you guys should listen to it.
Dance Infinity Finals was meaningful. I am proud of Fresh Flava for doing our best. Even if we didn't win, at least we make it to the finals right? I just love you girls so much. Hehehe! :D:D:D I already knew how it feels to club because everyone was dancing like loco after the competition. Seriously! We took a whole lot of pictures and get to meet new people from the other crews! I would also like to congratulate the top 3 crews! :D:D:D All the best for the next upcoming competition! Do your best! :)
Performance tomorrow at the Heeren. Haha! Can't wait to......see some ang mohs o.O Hahaha! Kidding la. I wished to la! A girl can dream right? Hahaha! Did I tell you that I've found my thumbdrive? I thought it was really lost but Alahmdullilah, tidak. Yay! I can't wait to see my school mates afterwards! Hee!
I am finally happy, that my friendship problems have settled and I don't feel uneasy. I miss madrasah. I want to continue when Im 18? :) It's a must. Damn, my prepaid like damn low okay. Abah, top up kan prepaid Syiqin in advance boleh? *puppy dog face*
Rest well! (L)
The past few days had been full of obstacles, meaningful memories and experiences. Dance prac yesterday was hell of a great one! I meant heaven, not hell :) It was really good and I love it. From the theme, to the choreography and to the wonderful pillars I have. Each one of them is irreplaceable. I love them beyond words. We shall work our butts off to being the best and prove who we really are. Apart of dance life, I've done a lot of catching up with Nadya too. How happy am I to finally spend my time with her......and with Kak Dinah especially! Crazy chicas! :D:D:D Rifdi was there. He is still short, apparently o.O Hahaha! -
I miss my secondary school mates. I feel darn guilty sometimes for not always having the right amount of time to bond with them. I really miss them a lot. I want to see Dellysda's hair. I want to see Ameera in braces. I want to see Shereen's bulu hidung. I want to give Ez'zati my pants. I want to hear Amalina's laughter. I want to hug Shazwani! Hehe! :D I want to see my boys too. My boys eh, menyampxzs! I think I am going to work with Kak Zimah soon on the 22th and 23rd if there are still any slots available. Insya Allah. If there aren't, maybe it isn't our rezeki. Wak Leha's words :) Still remember it. Hee.
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Cik Mail and Cik Tini are officially married! :D Alhamdullilah. May you both have a blissful marriage and everlasting love. Amin. The word marriage seems to excite me in some degree. I can't wait to grow older and get married with my soulmate. God willing. I want to have a fix and excellent career to cater to my needs. Who doesn't?
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TODAY, SHALL FIND COSTUMES.
Good morning. (L)
I don't want to be the one who appears weak in person, especially when it comes to the situation where you should show who you really are and voice out your thoughts no matter what. You need to stand out independantly and not always hang around other people's backs. I am fragile, I know. From now onwards, I try to be strong and stand up for my rights. Well, I got to. I love them but sometimes, things gets out of hand and crosses over the line.Honestly, even confusing and disappointing matters happen. I still love everyone for the way they are. I try my best to build the closest relationship ever. Anyways, I bought Coke! :D I am a happy woman. My feet stinks that I think I need to consider air-ing out my kicks -..- Busy day tomorrow. My uncle is getting hitched on Sunday. Finally, get to see my cousins! Esp Efa, Farah'ain and Nabilah! So much to catch up.(L)
Just moments before, I teared. I have no idea why was I so random. I was thinking through a lot of stuffs. I was thinking how much I let down my parents and how am I such a bad daughter to them. I am really selfish. I care about myself. I shouldn't. I really love my parents a lot even if sometimes, everything is unfair to me. I think everything would be fair if I just compromise and know my boundaries.
I have such wonderful people around me really. I am really thankful to God for these people I love. Family, friends, crew mates etc. I couldn't bear seeing them being hurt and going through a lot of downs. I wish all the happiness in the world to them. I don't mind being the one feeling like poo everytime, I just want them to be okay. Wait, this goes out to my best friend. Shahlis. Adik Abang Iskandar. Kay tu tak perlu! HAHA! :D No no. I want to thank him for always being there for me and for entertaining my stupid attitude. He is really such a good friend. Random kan? Confirm member baca terkejut gila babs! Haha!
I still have doubts about stuffs. WHY AM I SO VULNERABLE? I shall end here and continue in my private blog. Hahah! :D
(L)
When I woke up, I used my sister's laptop right away. Then I looked outside the window, my heart felt a sudden miss of someone. I looked down and heaved a heavy sigh. How much I already moved on, you will still feel the presence of that someone. But when it comes to my permanent decision, I won't do anything but look forward. This is what's best for me. How much the sweet, loving memories hold me back from going forward, my heart just wants me to move on and I am glad I already did. But, I still want to be friends. Nothing more. I felt all this while, I've learnt something but our everything just faded slowly. I shall end this para with a smile. :)
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You know whattttt........ I have not shower. Haha! Smelly right! :D I know. I usually find food. I should shower now before my parents come home and yell their heads off. I want to go to my grandparents' house today I guess. So much of meeting FI yesterday, that person had work -.- Hahahaha. I have doubts now. Wakakaka! =D
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Take care! (L)
I was really mad just now. I was pissed. I wished I could overcome my feelings easily and how I wished there was really a chill pill that I can consume. I am really fine now. It just takes a little breather, not more that 25 minutes. Then my heart would settle down. I am sorry if I had vent my feelings towards anyone of y'all. My sincere apology. My parents are going to the polyclinic today because my dad needs to see the doctor. Mother promised me to change my bank book to a POSB card today but since there are other plans. That's okay. I went to Kak Liy's house yesterday and it was a blast despite her cute, little sister throwing tantrums. I don't mind actually. I have yearned for a little sibling, so much actually. No wonder I have god sisters and god brothers.I have nothing to babble about. Rest Well! (L)
Woohoo! Countdown performance @ Woodlands with my bbygirls later! I can't believe we are actually meeting up late! Ke ke ke! Tomorrow is Kak Nor's engagement! I am really happy for her :) I ate at Seoul Garden with Shereen, Dellysda and Shazwani yesterday and it went out to be really hectic and fun! It was my first time if I am not wrong. Shocking much! The food there filled my tummy and I felt greedy, which isn't a good feeling. FOOD = HEAVEN. I was naive but nevermind, shall go there again sometime. Thanks lovelies! Kak Dinah is a nice sister! Ke ke ke. I accompanied her to Causeway to buy her school stuffs and school shoes! Haha! Very funny!
